The Theory of Relationships....

a few days i had posted(OK- copy pasted) from footloosedoll, about the pain of separating/break-up/letting go of someone you loved for dearly, last evening stumbled upon this. Similar line of thought....

In management - especially marketing courses we had these product lifecycle curves.....they start slowly, grow , and finally decline....

Somehow the relationship cycles are similar in nature, OK i know, a lot of people who are in love/relationships right now (really, or is it an infatuation??) would not agree to my theory of relationships life cycle...but may be would once they are on the leeward side of the curve Well, most posts mentioned above are from people who are at the extreme right end of the curve....they have been through a relationship, see sawed through the ups and downs, and are now feeling dumped at the other end. This is the basis of my now presented - "Theory of relationships" . All non-blood opposite sex relationships in the age bracket of 15-40 could be explained by the theory......don't believe me, read on The left part of the curve as shown above is like really something everyone knows....what with almost everyone i know having been through 1- Love affairs/romantic relationships

2- good friends/buddies/platonic relationships ( whether they exist in absolute terms or not is a different question altogether)

3- Arranged marriage mode/courtship period ; etc

however in each of these modes.....what really happens is this ( this is the consulting mind at its best....life through 3X4 matrix...he he }-)) ,

And now for the symptoms of each of these matrix elements

A1 - the most happening of the lot, in many cases this is the shortest period, sample this

He - will u be friends with me?

She - SLAP (scenario 1)/ (shyly) (smile) eh-huh-yes

Alternately ( the long route, also shared with the A2 phase) -

He ( sitting in canteen/bus/local train) (staring into oblivion from where the girl would emerge) sigh!!! ( for the first 3 months ) followed by sharing class notes/office work( people from IT industry would relate to this)/smiling shyly when meeting with group of common friends. 6 months later, the togetherness grows into the B1/B2 phase.

B1 - the most awesome phase in a life of relationship. movies. long drives, unending phone calls, gifts, flowers, whispering on the phone, blank calls( a relic of the long gone by time when we only had landlines, and the girl's mom/dad/brother/sister picked up the phone) - the time when u know all about the girls likings, remember about the blue orchid that the girl praised at a friends birthday party, and you decide to blow up all your pocketmoney/more "Udhaar" to gift her the blue orchids bouquet on valentines/college passout day/last day in office....u agree to buy and wear a red polka dots jacket since the lady in question thinks you look awesome in it, (while everyone else around including your street dog barks against it), u never think twice about flipping out your credit card in a shopping spree with the girl, at the expensive coffee shops et al, and only think twice ( and thrice and n number of times) when ur card bill finally comes in...."bhaiya ye paisa kahan se chukaoonga main......???". In most cases the near sightedness keep growing in the phase until u have lost track of all friends and the only thing that you could look at is the lady in question. There are certain catalysts to the buildup phase, which lead to immidiate target market capture - things like outstation trips/onsite trips together, driving back on a bike in rain, accidently barging into the girls room when she has just come back from washing her hair ( the evergreen scene is residential colleges/IIT/IIMs etc), kisses n hugs, the first time the girl shared some of her most intimate secrets soaked with tears, and the guy offered his shoulder/shirt to wipe them away....even more effective is the kissing away the tears from the cheeks sequence (some cheek some guys have....eh:))

In most case the delineation of the current growth phase end is in bed, when the relationship life cycle reaches the zenith....the guy is on top of the world, and the girl overwhelmed with the gifts/attention/affection she is showered with. ( Corollary of the theory of relationships - if people do not agree to the theory, they have not yet reached the zenith, as what goes up also come down - As newton's law of gravity prophesised)

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Another week....projects- professional and personal

well, a happening week it was, projects in real life and professional life, and while the professional project is difficult, the trouble in completing it pales in comparison to what has been the status of my "personal" project....did some good research based work at office, all that remains is to draw conclusions....and well that's the difficult part...but i think i now have the hang of what i would be doing over the next few days...and so it would be over in time, and in line with expectations....market surveys can be done for sectors, minus the sector that is going to define the rest of your life...the market research for the marriage prospects:) ok, back to the oft-flogged topic of marriage....one of my friends skimpy from IIMB, has an amazing series on the entire market and concept of arranged marriage, well, he's the topper of our batch and no wonder the style of writing reflects that....loads of management fundamentals, analysis, cases being presented, but i think i agree with the underlying thread of the series...i do not know how to add a link to one particular article, so here's the link to his blog i am thinking a lot about the kind of girl i should get married to , considering the kind of profiles that get thrust in front of me almost on a daily basis now.....and i realized that this is a problem with no check-lists.....i tried shortlisting girls based on my understanding of the family values....small educated family girls would be better off- i thought since they would be raised in a family similar to ours....similar family values, i maintained that business class families would be a no-no....and that the girl should be decently educated, and by that i meant....either a PG in a decent subject(which means MBA, sciences, English or economics)..., or a professional(the most abused word in the marriage domain...it includes just about anyone and everyone......doctor, engineer, architect, dentists, fashion designer, interior designer, CA, CS, CWA...and i dont know what all...well for me it meant only doctor, engineer and dentists)...again the choice of subjects does mean any bias towards anyone, just this that i thought that these lines of education would probably make the thinking a little common....the above covers a real broad spectrum of girls, and from whatever i understood by talking to the "prospects" and their families is that there is something amiss in this entire arrangement. well, that is something i am pondering about for quite some time, and it seems it needs more thinking....i don't know what to think further, if i be too close ended, that would leave literally no one to choose from....so its the marketing principle coming to the fore....prospect, and then shortlist, and then do a more thourogh research, and then shortlist further, and then finally make the call...provided even you meet the criteria set on the other end for all these tests.....who said marriage was a easy thing...:)