Some Good Readings

The last year or so has been different in the way that I started getting into reading blogs and opinions on the web a lot more than earlier, and this has given me a different insight into the information that is generally not available or is distorted in the media. Blogs definitely are a good media to understand the undercurrents of the society that we live in, or the places we want to know about. The discussions that these blogs generate as comments is another indicator of the emotions that the particular issues evokes among people who are on the opposite side of the discussions. A few of the blogs that I have read, and commented on are from different genres, and I would like to share them on my blog so that i could do my bit in order to spread the word. These are from different areas of interests, and they may or may not be the best available writers or blogs on the particular subject, yet i read them more or less regularly, and appreciate the points of view raised in these (i may not agree to them though) The reviews about the blogs are purely my own, and i am not too sure about the IPR issues , if any of these blog owners feel offended because of what i write here, please mail me and i would delete the portions. OK, so here goes, the first set of blogs are about Kashmir. I have had some fascination for kashmir for some time, one since my roommates in school hostel were from Kashmir, muslims from Srinagar and Anantnag districts, and then I had a good friend in college who was a Kashmiri Pandit, and again a good friend at my workplace, another kAshmiri Pandit boy, who finally got married to a kashmiri pandit girl, he met in a refugee camp in Jammu....(now that's a romantic fairy tale)....and so when i started reading non fiction, many of these books were about kashmir....i remember, there were multiple books from MJ Akbar, Bashrat Pir, Karan Singh, Sheikh Abdullah, and numerous others, and i did have heated discussions with people all over the place about them. I have personally been to Kashmir- once to Srinagar for a marriage in the heart of old srinagar, the hotbed of anti india feelings, and next to Amarnath, staying enroute at Srinagar, sonmarg, Pahal gaam, and anantnag, where the idea was to meet as many people as i could than the pilgrimage. ANyways there is this blog from Koshur I read is often, and do comment on them too. I have had discussions and arguments with Koshur and others from the Kashmir side of opinions, and then there are regulars who post the iNdian view. THe discussions range from emotional diatribes, to logical reasoning and outright religious fights, but the fact is it gives an amazing view of things from a Kashmiri viewpoint which is not very evident otherwise. There are other blogs too, but then they range from outright propaganda about atrocities in kashmir(similar in concept to what is blamed a lot on indian media), and the rest about poetics and pain. THere is another blog from Saadat which is not very regular but nonetheless very enriching. More on these blogs in detail later. There are more blogs about Pakistan that I read- one called Fiverupees there is another one called CHUP - changing up pakistan, and then there is this website called Global voices online which acts as a consolidator of blogs from around the world. Well, for all we know, these blogs may not be representative of the actual mindset of people, sinc efor a place like Kashmir or Pakistan , people who blog are going to be the educated elite with access to PC and internet and english knowledge (compared to poor poeple in these places who can nto even have two square meals), yet they are better than the impersonal reporting that news and formal media reports. Again these blogs have an uncanny capability to ould opinions of the people who rely on these blogs for the situation on the ground.And that makes the authority of the blog owners a little important. I know that this post is vastly different from whatever has been posted on this blog(well this is more serious, if you believe me). I would try and write about anything that is top of my mind on a particular day. Mera blog hai bhai :)

The travails of a marriage-able guy

hmmmmm......my obsession with all things marriage is growing, may be since these days everyone I meet(and that includes my mother everyday i reach back home), seems to be after my life to get married. Not sure if Darwin's theory of evolution talked about people mecessarily having to get married by 30 to survive or perish (aka giraffes streching their necks to survive) any which ways, here's may take on the marriage scenario, as it happens to you...any sembalance to anyone married or alive is purely coincidential.... 1. Age - 21-23 years well, it all starts when you finish your under graduate college, people in close vicinity get to know that you have landed with a campus offer paying more than what your dad earned after 25 years into a sarkaari job, and they pour in to congratulate, and then add some sweet nothings in their conversation with your mother, "acha hai, college se hi naukri mil gayi, ab to bas ek achi si ladki dekho aur shaadi kar do iski".....and then you have some arguments at your place, when all those girls you knew from childhood as family friends start being talked about as potential life mates.....lovely one-liner from "jab we met" - main to bada ho gaya par ghar wale bade nahi hue....:) anyways, u try and convince your parents that abhi to life shuru hui hai, lets see how the job goes and all 2. 22-24 years of age OK, job starts....and thats IT sector, the girl in the next cubicle/project appears so godly beautiful.....the affairs from college spill over and become even more dynamically romantic, now you have loads of money, and so u could graduate to a coffee shop from the earlier chai ki tapri....and multiplexes from those 7 rupee ticktes at Priya( all those who visited Priya prior to 2002 would relate to the charm of these 7 Rs tickets), and then some days you reach back home from office, only to realise that the far based uncle "jin ki beti bangalore se engineering kar rahi thi" is hoome, and for obvious reasons he becomes the most friendly uncle in the whole world, so very interested in knowing how your job is going....and before you know you have said "yes"....not to the uncle or your parents, but to the onsite manager at work, take the next available flight to US/ONsite...hopefully safely away from all the match making business. 3. 24-25 years The calls to US are damn costly, so u decide to teach your parents how to use email and chat, and before you know the emails are stuffed with profiles....in the hurry to get away from the scene u forgot that the onsite trip is going to get into even more trouble....your potential as a prospect goes even higher.....and you end up extending the onsite stay even if you hated the veggie whopper meals at burger king...."sad burgers to avoid a sadder(??) life....back home 4. 25-26 years Back in India, you realise that your parents had an amazing social circle, and that ur "khyati" has reached far and wide, all the people you never knew existed are mailing/sending you profiles.....you know it deep into your heart that half the girls also look for a hunk and they would possibly say no, the moment they saw the short and dark guy with specs, the pics start looking good and tempting, yet since there still are some sembalance of available girls in your own social circle, you plan to evaluate these options before jumping into the match making game of the parents. 5.26-27 years of age And now the parents are like damn serious, people around you are getting married, and the first fling that you had, the girl is married and has a kid now, and to make matters worse, she meets/calls your mother to break the baby shower news to her.....your best friend is married, and he makes sure that he pleads my mother to come for his wedding at all costs.....some friends....aag lagane mein sab se aagey......u decide its time to take a mid career break, and run away to a business school...ab koi berozgaar insaan ko kyun apni beti dega??? 6. 26-28 years And like all earlier tries, this try goes for a toss as well.....engineer with onsite experience, and then MBA underway at IIM.....dhar lo is ladke ko.....bhaiya, socho bande ke bhi baare mein, nahi karni use abhi shaadi....but you make sure that all those trips that you make back home , end up on a bitter note, what with the emotional blackmail from mothers......main pote ka munh dekhe bina hi chali jaaoongi.....jarror tera kisi ladki se affair chal raha hai, tu mujhe bata, mujhe koi problem nahi hai, usi se shaadi kar le tu....and now that is like rubbing salt in the wounds of a MBA student at IIM, bhai ladki hai kahan jis se chakkar chalega...:( The rest would follow.....

Some more random thoughts

ok, been almost a month since i wrote here, blame it on low moods. The last month has been a little different, in more ways than one. Met some amazing people, and then well, seemingly lost some. There is this person I know, who is even more confused about marriage than I am, and somehow, it turns out to be an "ajeeb" sa conversation every time we talk or meet. All doubts that she has are very valid, but the trouble is, that there are no straight answers to this entire question of gambling with a life partner. THere is this stupid theory that came to my mind - is getting marrie drequired since everyone else around you is doing the same, and thus the same group of people you spend the maximum time with, are all married, and thus the entire set of people around you changes, and these new friends do not connect to you the same way as earlier, and over aperiod of time the loneliness gets on to you, and you too decide to throw the hat in the ring. Work wise, i felt really odd about a co-worker's attitude- not sure if that is a figment of imagination, or reality(i feel the latter is correct), and i m at a loss to put a reason to the same. This person used to a be good company in the office, and then suddenly its abruptly too formal. I have no qualms about formal behaviour, but then i would love to know the reason, since that is something that helps me always. NOt that I am good with handling criticism, still somethings help!! Office mein having good friends is actually pretty difficult since mor eoften than not, there is this invisble peer pressure and competition that exists, and thus i feel all the more odd about this entire event( the only shit area is that i do not knwo what event?) i know the above post is a completely uncoherent piece of mind, but well that's what a blog is supposed to be:)