Thoughts on marriage

Almost a week since last post, and the week has been the same old one...one of my very good old friends had some peculiar issues about her marriage, something that I could not think of a simple way out, but it leads me to think of an even more important point in the whole issue of marriage.... OK, in a nutshell, the guy had a long lost affair before he got married to this friend of mine, and now the ex is back for a short stint with the flame rekindled, leading to turmoil in all lives concerned. My Friend, let call her S, has a difficult situation at her hands, and there are no shortcuts or knee jerk reactions possible here. There is this other friend who insists that such things would keep happening in a arranged marriage, if either the guy or girl has a pre-marriage affair or relationship, and to an extent I feel she is right, but at the same time a lot depends upon the people under question and their maturity. Not everyone would do what S's husband is (apparently)upto. But here's the pertinent question- as human beings which are always thinking, would such a relationship be viable, or would the entire life be always a comparative study between the first flame and spouse? Another discordant view comes from the psued people who have multiple relationships before marriage- now would complicate matters further- since there would be more points of comparison, or would it be more simpler, since there are no set benchmarks, and the special relationships would not be there to compare, I do not know the answer, and would really want to understand. OK, Why m i pondering over it, since i m also trying to look for someone right now(??), and have no idea as to what impact it may have on the choice of girl. The simplest way out would be to fall in love with a girl, get to know her, and then settle down with her...picture perfect, but the same is not possible always....in fact that has an inherent problem attached, you never get to see the back of the person you claim to love, since more often than not, you are enamored by the "power of love" so i m back to the square one....no ways of marrying is a foolproof way, it appears that i had a chance, and i squandered it away....is it too late now??