Somewhere in the last few days, there have been a lot of happenings around me, since i posted last.
And then - a new job, a new house, and some new friends and acquaintances. And a new start with all these. In the interactions with this new set of people, one question which kept coming back to me is simple enough- if we really appreciate a set of people- do we actually keep a tab of "what s/he did to me" and "why did s/he not do this"?
I always maintained a differetial set of people around - People I use ( and I call them acquaintances) and people I get used by and vice versa( and I call them my friends), and for me the distinction is very clear- with friends I do not get into accounting for credits and debits of good and bad deeds. Since these people have reached the criteria of being my friends, they are above all these. The special people in my life come into this set, and I never had and never would(hopefully) question their intentions.
For the other set- keep them in good humor, do what is necessary to keep the acquaintance going, and then that's it. May be there is an inherent account here, but not on actuals. So I would probably "return favours" once in a while.
I assume, most people around me would have a similar distiction for themselves- the boudaries may differ, but the concept does not.
However, What astonishes me is that there are people who actually keep tabs on the special people- more so for the special people. And , may be that is why according to a friend of mine "a lot of changes happen to the girl of your dreams once you get married, all things which were acceptable before shaadi, simply become bones of contention after that".
Not sure if this is the best way to correlate what is happening to this close couple's relationship. Best of friends for a long time, now they fight over everything. Fingers are pointed, cribs flying to and fro, and short tempers frowning.
I recall there was a law in nuclear physics that we studied in school- something to do with molecular attraction ( do not remeber the exact name though) which basically said " Two molecular particles like electron and photon get strongly attracted to each other, and start moving closer to each other, when at a certain close distance they start repelling each other" and there was some fancy formula for this equation, at which repulsion would occur. I wonder if a similar formula does not occur in real life.
On the sidelines- here's another propellent of the "old school of love" - Devi Kiran , read this and couldn't agree more!!!
And then - a new job, a new house, and some new friends and acquaintances. And a new start with all these. In the interactions with this new set of people, one question which kept coming back to me is simple enough- if we really appreciate a set of people- do we actually keep a tab of "what s/he did to me" and "why did s/he not do this"?
I always maintained a differetial set of people around - People I use ( and I call them acquaintances) and people I get used by and vice versa( and I call them my friends), and for me the distinction is very clear- with friends I do not get into accounting for credits and debits of good and bad deeds. Since these people have reached the criteria of being my friends, they are above all these. The special people in my life come into this set, and I never had and never would(hopefully) question their intentions.
For the other set- keep them in good humor, do what is necessary to keep the acquaintance going, and then that's it. May be there is an inherent account here, but not on actuals. So I would probably "return favours" once in a while.
I assume, most people around me would have a similar distiction for themselves- the boudaries may differ, but the concept does not.
However, What astonishes me is that there are people who actually keep tabs on the special people- more so for the special people. And , may be that is why according to a friend of mine "a lot of changes happen to the girl of your dreams once you get married, all things which were acceptable before shaadi, simply become bones of contention after that".
Not sure if this is the best way to correlate what is happening to this close couple's relationship. Best of friends for a long time, now they fight over everything. Fingers are pointed, cribs flying to and fro, and short tempers frowning.
I recall there was a law in nuclear physics that we studied in school- something to do with molecular attraction ( do not remeber the exact name though) which basically said " Two molecular particles like electron and photon get strongly attracted to each other, and start moving closer to each other, when at a certain close distance they start repelling each other" and there was some fancy formula for this equation, at which repulsion would occur. I wonder if a similar formula does not occur in real life.
On the sidelines- here's another propellent of the "old school of love" - Devi Kiran , read this and couldn't agree more!!!
