Together we fall

what we think is what we are,
and then there are those who think different
to each one's own, and we lived like this all the time

its like the rail track, together yet distinct
we base the high speed trains on us, holding the energy and force together
and yet, I was myself, and you were you'
and we were "together yet different"

we traversed the lengths and the world like this,
went up the hills, crossed valleys, and jumped over rivers

and then we decided to cross our paths,
force my thoughts on you, and your thoughts on me
and then it was disaster,
the beauty was in the togetherness, not being one.....

us vs them

what we think is what we are,
and then there are those who think different
to each one's own, and we lived like this all the time

its like the rail track, together yet distinct
we base the high speed trains on us, holding the energy and force together
and yet, I was myself, and you were you'
and we were "together yet different"

we traversed the lengths and the world like this,
went up the hills, crossed valleys, and jumped over rivers

and then we decided to cross our paths,
force my thoughts on you, and your thoughts on me
and then it was disaster,
the beauty was in the togetherness, not being one.....

the diwali celebrations of a different type

its the festival of lights, and the world around celebrates
its lit up all over, and the festive sweets are doing the rounds,
the new age wonders - SMS and emails, shower wishes upon you,
the markets are decorated like brides, and houses lit up like the suitable gooms
the smoke and light of fireworks light up the otherwise dark sky with a gray-red bloom

and there, just under the lit up colored showers from the fireworks
was this small kid, in rags, his hair strewn like a hairstyle of his own,
the style or being poor, and the style of being ignorant
ignorant of the festivities around, ignorant of the festival of light
ignorant of the happiness and cheer, since there was no cheer around him

may be he sold candles during the day, with nice packaging
and dared not to save a single one for him, lest it eats up into his profit from the venture

may be he was the florist selling garlands for the gods,
and there then gods had forgotten all about him

may be he slogged his day working for a tyrant lord, who underpaid him for overworking
and the sounds of crackers were just taking a toll on his tired, well deserved sleep

and then and cracker burst, and there was this momentary light, lighting up his face
and there was this small smile, a smirk on the face

the smile said it all - the smirk remarked to me.....
you just lit a match to a cracker which cost more than what i earn in many months.....
but good you did, since i ll get to pick the cardboard boxes you left behind tomorrow
and sell them for pennies, to earn my festivity....
the day when i would have a square meal, by selling the board boxes of fireworks

my diwali comes a day after you are done,
when you throw away the leftovers, i fight with the urchins and dogs to get a flavor of your sweets

loneliness

there are days when the sun shines bright, and the bees and birds chirp all over,
the colors are pastel, and the contrasts amaze;
the sounds of music and chit chats muse into the ears...
and its a world full of frentic activity, me being the center of the universe


and today, the darkness crept over
the birds and bees shied away to their abodes,
the sounds died out into an eerie silence, blach shadows outstripped the pastel colours....


and u realised, center of universe is just another point in the universe

the devil of procastinating

well, it all comes back to haunt you - really :(
the coming months are all about decisions, and the tilting factors are all those things which I have been pushing forward for quite some time - the decisions in terms of a job switch and possible relocation, decisions in terms of figuring out if I should get married (finally) and the decisions in terms of shifting into a new house!!! and now all these are so intertwined into each other that all these decisions are completely messed up, leaving no clarity:( and no decisions:((

Working with the industry has really been disastrous for me, simply because I simply could not adjust to the dramatic change in pace, may be i m not used to working with a Boss( though the superiors here too have provided ample headroom), and the concept of hitting a roadblock just everywhere you try to move, compare it to the consulting - where work was aplenty, and so was creative thinking and independent movement in all directions, here I am starved for work- its so long that good or bad work does not matter any more, and i am confused that people around seem to be able to remain content in such an environment - its important for me to leave this place before I too become too complacent and happy with being unproductive ,and this leads me to the confusion. As they say grass is always green on the other side, and thus I always wanted to get to the industry( like numerous other consulting veterans) to see how dirty can the hands get ( do they really get dirty??), and 6 months into it, i am dying to get out....so the pertinent question is - is the next jump gonna be into the industry or consulting, could not afford to get it wrong again:( the problem here is of plenty- since I have options available at both ends, complicating it further.

Next is Shaadi - Ma is after my life and may be rightly so( if i look at the kids/virility displayed by my friends) - My answer to my mom's emotional tirade - "Main pote ka munh dekhe bina chali jaongi" is simple and straight - "Pota to bina shaadi ke bi ho sakta hai:)" - jokes apart i guess its time to settle down on this front. and then s next set of issues- knowing myself and my ideas of marriage  and companionship - I am NOT cut out for a arranged marriage, and i guess I have little time to fall in love( love at first sight does not exist for me), so here's the moot question - do you procastinate further to find the girl for you, or you simply jump in.

OK - too much of crib for a session.....time to hang up on this sad line of thoughts....Diwali is around the corner, and so wishes to everyone....have a safe and happy diwali